Confidence and Support

I spent several hours last night putting together my new desk and chair. (See it there in the picture? Cool, huh?) Most of the problems that I ran into were my own fault, as I misread the directions. Okay, okay, I didn't read the directions at all until I realized something was wrong. Turns out they put just enough screws in the box to build the thing and they are not interchangeable. But, I finally managed to put it together and lovingly set up all of my stuff. Finally, I have a place that is set aside strictly for writing. To anyone else, this desk is just a desk. Nothing fancy about it, but to me it is much, much more.

In the past, I would hunch over my little net book and bang away at the keys in whatever room of the house was free of children, which was not always possible to find. Now, I have a desk, a chair, and a special place just for me to write in. I'm not sure how I can explain to you how special this is, unless you are a writer, then you already know.

It's not just about comfort, although I am sure that my back will feel much better writing here instead of bent over a comp in my lap on the couch. More importantly it has built my confidence. Why, you ask? Because it let's me know that my wife supports my work. Sure, she tells me all the time what a great writer I am, but every writer's family tells them that.  By buying  me the desk and helping me carve out my "office" area, she has given me concrete evidence that lets me know just how much she supports my writing.

How can a desk do this? Simple. Her actions tell me and everyone else that what I do is important. Important enough to warrant spending money  and rearranging our home. She could have gone on telling me that I was good enough and I would have gone on believing her (until the "I'm no good, this is all shit" feeling crept back up), but she showed me in a very real way that she's not just blowing smoke. She believes in me and supports the path that I have chosen, and that is much more valuable than any words of praise.

Do you ever lack confidence in your abilities? Who is there to support you in your endeavors and build your confidence up?

I Found My Agent, They Just Don't Know It Yet

I know. It sounds a little creepy, but I promise that I am not stalking anyone (yet). Even though I haven't completely ruled out self-publishing, I am leaning pretty hard toward not. I think I may want to continue to self-pub short stories, but when the novel is complete, I want to give it the best possible chance of succeeding and I am smart enough to know that I am too dumb to trust myself with that task. With that in mind, I used most of my daily "screw around" time to research agents and found my first pick.

Before you say anything, this is not the first time I researched them, so I didn't just randomly pick an agent. I know this agent will like my work, as it is similar to at least two of their other clients, and more importantly (to me anyway) is that their clients seem to love them. Is it wrong of me to be looking for agents when the book isn't even finished yet? Is that too cocky? Maybe. I don't think so. If nothing else, the power of positive thinking may help me out a bit. (I will be represented by agent X!) Plus, it gives me motivation. In my imaginary universe, this agent is waiting anxiously for my manuscript. Okay, so maybe that is a little much, but it works for me.

In other news, the response to my short story continues to overwhelm me. Thank you, again, for all of the encouraging comments. Especially thanks to everyone who pointed out the errors. (They have been corrected.) Of all of the articles and blogs that I have been reading lately dealing with Self-publishing, almost all of them emphasise editing, editing, editing. I knew this, but I guess I was so excited to get it out there and start the whole experiment that I only edited. I forgot the other two edits. Another lesson I had to learn the hard way. Why do I sometimes feel that the rules do not apply to me? Maybe that's a character flaw we should examine some other time.

Enough about me. What about you? Do you visualise your goals with lots of details (right down to who your agent will be) or is it just a general "I hope I get published someday" goal? Something in between, maybe?